I was sound asleep by 7:00 last night because I’m elderly. Actually, I have been feeling like I’m coming down with something, so I just gave up and went to bed early. This morning when I woke up, I still felt less than stellar, so I watched some cheesy Nickelodeon movie on Netflix. As I was watching “Snow Day”, it dawned on me that coffee shops hold magical healing powers and if I went to one, the stomach ache and endless nasal drainage would disappear.
Without putting a brush in my hair or my mouth, without changing out of my yoga pants/pajamas, and without even looking in a mirror, I left the house.
I left the house looking like something that had no desire to ever find a boyfriend and I went to Caribou Coffee. Now, I tend to exist in my own little happy place when I take over a table in a coffee shop. Today was no exception. I pretend I’m working hard on something, but most of the time, I’m not. I watch YouTube videos, look up corny jokes to use at work, and occasionally, I make weird faces.
Like this one:
Caribou was busy, as usual. There were people working on laptops, a dad with three small children at a table next to me, and customers steadily flowing in and out. I paid little attention to the world around me because I had “work” to do, but I do remember looking at the small child at the table next to me. She was wearing a cute knitted hat and when she took it off, her hair looked worse than mine. But, she was not even two-years-old, so it was cute. My greasy rat’s nest… not so much.
I stayed at Caribou for a few hours and then returned with big plans of being not-so-productive and I succeeded.
Now, let’s fast-forward to this evening. I’m still dressed in last night’s pajamas. Still haven’t showered, but I did put a toothbrush in my mouth. And flossed. (Which was a bloody mess, but that’s another blog post for The Ouch Files!)
Snuggled in under layers and layers of fleece, I notice that I have new messages on my online dating profile.
One of the gentlemen I’ve been messaging with sent me a message.
And then I realized that he never came over to introduce himself. Another awkward dating moment, I guess. I can’t read too much into why he didn’t approach me. It’s not like I looked approachable or anything. Not to mention, what an awkward conversation to start:
Guy: Hi, have we been chatting online?
Girl: That’s the worst pick-up line ever!
Guy: Hey, you’re on that dating site…
Girl gets arrested for assault and battery.
You just can’t be too careful these days. I responded to his message and if I never hear from him again, that’s okay. If I haven’t said it before, I will say it now: I LOVE being single. Maybe I love being single so much that I try to look revolting when I go out in public?
Okay, no. I don’t.
The more of this online dating stuff I do, the more I’m starting to think I could create a second blog or write a book based solely on this experience. There are plenty of success stories. I just wonder if all of those people had to go through all of this before going down the aisle.