Before I dive into this post, I need to note I am a patient person. It takes a lot to get on my nerves, but some things find those nerves a little faster than others. Someone suggested I write a blog post about my pet peeves. I always do as I’m told most of the time.
This is at the top of the list for a reason. If you want to drive me bonkers, chewing with your mouth open is the way to go. Even watching this GIF makes me want to reach through the screen and knock the chompers right out of this dude. Smacking bubble gum, slurping soda, and a long list of other mouth noises make it hard to control my temper. One time, my older sister and I slept over at my grandparent’s house. I woke up next to her sloshing her tongue around in her mouth. She was sound asleep, but I smacked her anyway.
(#2) Honking at me when I’m walking
You simply do not do this. If you see me engaged in any type of pedestrian-like task, leave me alone. I’m already at an increased risk for having a heart attack by exposing myself to physical activity. A horn blaring at me from behind could push me into an early grave. Even if you are my best friend, if you honk at me to get my attention, my middle finger may salute you.
(#3) Windshield Wipers
This is one of those pet peeves I believe I have outgrown because it doesn’t bother me as much anymore. In my high school and college days this annoyed me. Parked vehicles with the windshield wipers in the upright position. Why? I have no idea, but it made my skin crawl. It was bothersome enough for me to leave a few notes on windshields. Perhaps one of those notes landed in the hands of the “Big Bang Theory” writers and this is how Sheldon Cooper came about? While I still cannot park my vehicle with the wipers up, I don’t leave notes for other motorists to do the same.
Speaking of pet peeves, I’d actually like to see Sheldon’s list.
My Grandma Jean would say, “I’d rather be 30 minutes early than 1 minute late.” I live by this. Nothing conveys disrespect like showing up late for something you have committed to. Things happen. Traffic, another meeting runs over, your dog puked all over the house. I get it. It’s the chronically late ones who think their time is worth more than mine who I’m talking about.
We all know these people. They are the ones we tell the party starts at 6:00 when it really starts at 7:00, but they are still late. Don’t be that guy.
The tailgaters might be the tardy people I was just talking about. Aggressive drivers who think kissing my bumper will make me speed up are wrong. Everyday I take a two lane road that winds and occasionally I get tailgaters who want to go 45 in a 25. One night, I couldn’t see the headlights in my rearview. This was at the bottom of the hill and I had just spent 12 long hours at work. I did 5-10 mph all the way up the bluff. I could see his arms flailing and mouth hollering things I’m glad I couldn’t hear.
If only my car could poop banana peels like in Mario Kart and I could send tailgaters spinning like Donkey Kong.
(#6) People Being Nasty
I’m making one all-inclusive category. Rude people hang out in this group. This is not acknowledging someone for holding a door open for you. Bullying. Forgetting, or choosing not to use please and thank you. People who walk around with this sense of entitlement. It’s ridiculous. We all enter this world naked and we all leave with nothing. Not even your participation trophy gets to go with you.
(#7) Pretty much everything about modern dating
This could be a blog post all by itself. If I had to pick only one thing about dating to add to my list of pet peeves, it would be texting. I cannot build a relationship on texting, but apparently this is how it’s done these days. One guy (working toward a PhD) texted me non-stop for a week. Stupid things. “Just had tacos.” Followed by pictures of an empty plate. “Going for a run.” After the run, I’d get a picture of a beer bottle or a sweaty selfie.
I’d rather be single. Thank you.
(#8) People who over-stay their welcome
We all know these people. They show up at your doorstep and you invite them in for a drink, but a drink turns to dinner. It’s nice for a while, but eventually it’s time for everyone to go to bed.
Next thing you know, they’re crashing in your basement and coloring pictures for the fridge. Eventually, they start asking for joint custody of the children and the family pets, but refuse to mow the damn lawn.
Okay, this really isn’t one of my pet peeves. Well, mowing the lawn is, but that’s another blog post.